Individual Consultations

For 20 years I have had the privilege of coaching and teaching parents and school staff on many issues from positive discipline tools, peer and sibling rivalry, sharing, separation anxiety, tantrums, depression, and raising independent, responsible and happy children. Our time together will provide you with solid strategies that teach and do not shame. In our sessions, don’t worry about taking notes or remembering every detail, I will always send you a written re-cap of our meeting.

I meet with parents in the privacy of their homes, using zoom or in my office (open September 2021).

Research shows that individual sessions and kids’ groups work well at improving mental health, pro-social behavior and decreasing disruptive behaviors, but when you add the parenting part it really boosts the effectiveness of it. It is for this reason that parents and caregivers must be a part of the therapy process unless certain circumstances warrant otherwise.

What Happens in Child Therapy

At the beginning, your I will talk with you and ask questions. Listening to your answers helps me learn more about your child. Together we will make goals for what you want to improve.

Parents and kids usually meet with me regularly for a few months. Most families prefer weekly sessions at the beginning and then move to every other week and eventually monthly as you and your child develop skills and strategies.

Therapy sessions include activities like:

• Talking and listening. I teach kids to talk about their feelings. This helps kids notice their feelings and express them in words instead of actions. Talking and listening helps kids feel understood and ready to learn. It also helps kids learn to pay attention and listen better.

• Playing with a purpose. For young kids, play can teach self-control — like waiting to take a turn. I might use games that teach kids to slow down, follow directions, and try again instead of losing their temper or giving up. Play is also a way for kids to learn how to plan, organize, and put things away.

• Doing activities that teach lessons. I might teach lessons about emotions, organizing schoolwork, studying, or understanding others. Activities and worksheets help make these lessons fun.

• Practicing new skills. I might teach kids skills like mindfulness and breathing exercises. These skills can train attention and calm the mind and body. Therapy sessions can be a time to practice these skills.

• Problem solving. I often ask about problems in school and at home. We then might talk together about how to work out these problems.

How Long Do Kids Do Therapy?

How long therapy lasts will depend on your goals. Most of the time, I will want to meet with you and your child once a week for a few months.

How Can Parents Help?

• Take your child to all recommended visits. Learning new skills is a habit that kids need to keep up until they master it.

• Maintain a hopeful, positive attitude about the therapy process and possible outcomes.

• Help your child practice the skills and strategies learned in counselling at home.

• As applicable, encourage involved family members to be positive about therapy, too. Never let siblings or other family members tease a child for being in counseling. Verbally stand up for your child if necessary: “I won’t let you hurt your brother/sister’s feelings. She’s brave and smart to be visiting with _____.”

• Convey confidence in your child’s ability to successfully cope. Openly tell them you are proud of them for speaking with someone. Reassure children that you understand it’s hard to talk about uncomfortable feelings or events.

• Avoid treating your child like a helpless victim. Let your child know you believe they are resilient and can handle their emotions. Treating a child like a victim, or encouraging them to gain sympathy by acting like a victim, does not help them learn to manage life constructively.

• Let children know they have your permission to speak honestly with in counselling. Often children hold back feelings as a way to “protect” parents or family pride. When parents ask children to keep “family secrets,” problems don’t get resolved — just avoided. Buried problems often fester to undermine mental health. Let the sun shine in to promote healing.

• Therapy can be both emotionally and physically draining for kids or adults. To bolster children’s energy, keep family life as predictable and stable as possible. Be sure your child gets the basics of nourishment daily: food/water, exercise, sleep, and time with you.

• Avoid pressuring your child to talk about every detail discussed in counseling. And don’t talk to your child only about “his or her problem.” Too much focus on therapy may lead a child to think his/her “problem” is more important than any other aspect of life. Continue caring about kids’ school work, friends, and participation in athletics.

• Be prepared to listen when children initiate conversation. Connor Walters encourages parents to build in time every day for spontaneous conversation. You never know when “heart to heart” talks may occur, but they are more likely during quiet calm times when the television or radio is off.

• Sometimes I may ask your family to participate in the counselling, be open to it. Family therapy is a very efficient way of addressing issues that impact everyone; rarely do a child’s struggles occur in isolation.

• Support coping methods. For instance, I may encourage a child to draw pictures, write a daily journal, or practice relaxation breathing. Avoid scoffing at such methods even if you doubt their value with your particular child.

• Facilitate sharing of information between child care, and school, if needed.